I want you.
It's not that I need you (entirely), it's not that I can't live without you, and it's not that I love you...I just want you. The sound of your voice makes me smile. When I'm upset, you never fail to make me laugh. I feel utter excitement when I hear your ringtone, because I know it's my "PPPPOOOOOKKKIEE" calling me.
It hurts to know that I can't have you. Before, the mere thought of us being together seemed simply intangible and just as soon as I had the chance to have you, I lost you. Whether it be the product of a misunderstanding - you not trusting me. Or even if it's just the fact that you didn't want me "like that", I felt close to you at one point and unfortunately, that's nothing more than a pallid memory.
It's crazy how we went from calling each other everyday to barely speaking. We went from seeing each other as often as possible, to not bothering to see one another at all - but the fact of the matter is, I genuinely miss you. Yeah, we laugh, we joke, we play...but I don't think you'll ever realize how much I think of you - how much the thought of you plagues my mind daily. I long to receive that text from you that says, "Heyyyy," to at least make me feel like I've crossed your mind.
You'll never fully grasp the impact that I feel you've made in my life. How much I truly appreciated and cherished your presence for that brief moment. Jealousy and envy besiege my life/emotions. I don't want anyone else to have the opportunity to experience you, because they will never appreciate you for the trivial things that make you the beautiful person that you are. Simply put, I adore you.
The worst part of all, I know now that we could never be more than just friends, EVER. And if I had the chance to do it over again, I would choose YOU. I just hope one day you'll understand my feelings and the sincerity behind them. I wish we would have just agreed-to-disagree and embraced one another's differences. However, there's no use in crying over spilled milk (lol, even if it were Lactaid), because if it was meant to be, someday you'll find your way back to me.
Stupid Ear, Baby Butt, Caca.